


Lay your head.

by TheStripedFlamingo



Series: Queer eye one-shots [1]
Category: Queer Eye for the Straight Guy RPF
Genre: Antoni Porowski is precious, Bobby Berk is a good friend, Child Neglect, Coming Out, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Nightmares, Protectiveness, queer eye
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-15
Updated: 2020-03-15
Packaged: 2021-02-28 16:39:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23150323
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStripedFlamingo/pseuds/TheStripedFlamingo
Summary: “Did you have a nightmare bub?” Bobby asked, knowing the answer. He knew the signs of a nightmare, and Antoni was showing them all. His friend dreaming of things other than avocados and corgis troubled him to the core.
Relationships: Antoni Porowski & Bobby Berk, Antoni Porowski & Tan France
Series: Queer eye one-shots [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664158
Comments: 2
Kudos: 58





	Lay your head.

**Author's Note:**

> Before I go on I just want to say happy birthday to my sweet baby Antoni once more! You won't ever read this but I hope you had the best day filled with love <3  
> I know Antoni doesn't label himself but I had him use the term, gay, so he could just get it over and done with.

_ Young Antoni stood in his living room, adjusting himself for what he was about to do. He already knew how this was going to end, he’s heard the way his parents and sister spoke. They weren’t going to like someone like him in their family. They had already shown their hatred to him the instant he was born. He was not a planned pregnancy, his mother and father did not wish him and still don’t. He is almost 20 years younger than his sisters, and they never tried to get to know him. _

_ He had always been an outcast no matter where he went, but he got by and got used to feeling abandoned. _

_ The boy still tried to form a strong bond with his parents. His sisters were already moved out so it was much more difficult to get to know them. He engaged with his parents. Watching his mother cook meals and as his father fixes things around the house. He received given responses, but their tones were more informative than parental. _

_ His parents both worked a lot and would often travel and leave him alone at the house. When his parents return, they wouldn’t surprise him or provide him with a hug. They acted as if he wasn’t even in there life. _

_ It got worse as he got older. When he was 12 years old his family moved, and though he felt alone he never wanted to leave Montreal. Shortly after they arrived his mother and father began fighting and in time divorced. He had been the cause of the split and began altering between two houses who didn't want him.  _

_ But he stood here today in front of his family. He can’t remember the last time anyone had paid any attention to him in his last 17 years. He didn’t feel relieved, only horrified. _

_ "I have something I need to say to you all.” He made eye contact with his oldest sister. Who made an effort to speak and discover who her little brother had grown into. _

_ “What is it Antek," She asked in a soft tone, but she looked irritated by him speaking out. _

_ “So, I have thought of who I am and though I don’t like to label myself, I would like to come out to you as gay," He wasn't prepared for the punch. Antoni held his face in pain from where his father had hit him above the eye the beer bottle still in hand. But he stood strong, not backing down from the disgusting look on his face. _

_ “That is disgusting and no son of mine will go about sleeping with other men!” His mother spat, and he felt the tears begin to form in his eyes. He knew he would hear those words but it didn’t make it any easier. His mother had scared him growing up, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t wish for her love and approval. _

_ He could tell that whatever compassion his sisters had felt for him was long gone now. They both looked at him with looks of anger and disgust, and Karolina stood from her seat and marched over to him. “You were never my brother," was all she said, but it broke Antoni more than anything else could. She exited the room, and Antoni knew he would never see her again. “You were a bloody disgrace to his family the moment you were born. Only causing pain for this family but this is the last straw! You are to leave this home and never return. We do not accept you in this house as a Porowski," his father said and a tear slid down the boy’s face, and he tried to wipe it away. _

_ "Quit your whining. All you do is complain and whine! I have had enough!" His father was getting angrier and swung his fist hitting him straight in the eye then again on the mouth. He felt his lip split and tasted the blood in his mouth. _

_ “Please I’m sorry I will be better I promise!" Before Antoni could speak anymore his father slammed the empty bottle over his head, sending glass all over the room. Antoni could feel the wound atop his head and felt the blood drip down. _

_ “Enough. Get out before I take you.” _

_ Antoni took one last glance at his mother’s face and all he spoke was “Never come back here, we are no longer your parents.” His mother walked him towards the door and kicked him out shutting the door and locking it. _

_......_

Antoni awoke with a breath and something warm on his face. He realized he had cried in his sleep and was shaking. He shut his eyes and focused on his breathing. Attempting to calm himself down, but when he did, so he saw his father standing over him with a bottle. He knew it wasn’t real, but at the same time, it was. With his breath not slowing, he knew he needed help. So, he swung his feet to sit on the floor before standing up with shaking legs. He walked with his eyes blurry with tears and opened his bedroom door and stepped out into their loft’s hallway. He took a deep breath before moving once more.

“Tan.” He croaked out through tears. Hoping that his best friend would hear his calls and comfort him like he always does. But no one came and the unknowns of the darkness of the hallway were beginning to scare him.

“Tanny!” He cried louder the tightness in his chest reforming.

He jumped when he heard a door swing open and turned around to see Bobby running out of his room. He spotted Antoni and noticed his panicked state and tried to calm him.

“It’s me, Ant. It’s okay, you’re safe. Can I touch you?" Bobby only received a small nod from the younger man. Bobby took his hand and brought the tearful boy into his room. Bobby allowed Antoni to place his head on his chest once they were comfortable in bed. Antoni calming himself to the sound of Bobby's chest-thumping.

They laid in silence. Antoni calmed himself down, while Bobby ran his hands through the boy’s sweaty bed head. Bobby was struggling to figure out what to say to the distraught boy. Antoni didn’t usually come to Bobby for comfort. Tan made it clear that anytime Antoni was in distress it was his job to take care of him. But the man was fast asleep and Bobby is leaning into his selfish want to comfort a friend which he loved to be able to do.

“Did you have a nightmare bub?” Bobby asked, knowing the answer. He knew the signs of a nightmare, and Antoni was showing them all. His friend dreaming of things other than avocados and corgis troubled him to the core.

“Yeah,” was Antoni’s mumbled response. His breathing had calmed but his voice with still thick with tears and Bobby presses a kiss to the top of his head.

“Would you like to talk about it? I promise it will help," Bobby said. To be honest, he wasn’t sure it would help, he always read that it does, but he doesn’t know. He wants to get Antoni talking. He loves it when the man will ramble on and on about whatever is on his mind. He loved it when Antoni spoke at all. 

“ I-It was about when I came out,” Bobby saw the younger man grow nervous. He never spoke about his coming out. But he knew it wasn't good. Bobby knew what it was like to have not only family but a whole community reject you. He hoped Antoni would share his story, so they could assist each other in healing.

“ What happened then? I know you don’t like to speak about it, but I know it will help you get it off your chest, it helped me," Bobby explained. He frowned at the way Antoni tensed in his arms. He wished the boy would let his guard down and knew that Bobby would never hurt him. 

“It was horrible, my family had always been different. My parents neglected me, and I was often home by myself," Antoni paused and Bobby tightened his grip, he didn’t know this about his friend and was glad he was learning now. “They never wanted me. My sisters were years older than me. I was a mistake they wish they never had," Bobby's shirt became damp with warm tears, and he felt his own eyes fill. This boy doesn’t know how perfect he is, and Bobby is going to make sure he does.

Bobby allowed Antoni to compose himself before speaking once more.

“I had worked up the courage to come out to them when I was 17. My parents had separated long before but still gathered every couple of years. So, I decided that would be my only chance to do it once and then never have to do it again. So, I told them and it all went up in flames." Antoni finished his sentence there and made no signs that he was going to speak anymore.

“Keep going, darling. You are doing great. Tell me what you are afraid to tell me," Bobby spoke. Bobby needed Antoni to keep speaking. He wished to help the boy, and he was so close. He and Antoni had always been close, but he wanted to develop a more emotional relationship with him. 

“My sister left saying 'I was never her brother," and I could tell my other sister shared the same thoughts. My mother told me how disgusted she was and I had ruined the family." Antoni opened his mouth to speak once more but then closed it.

“Hey, tell me what happened. I promise I won’t judge whatever happened," Bobby said pressing a kiss to the boy's head once more. 

“My father hit me. He struck me over the head with his beer bottle sending its shards into my skin. I still have the scar from where the glass cut into my skin. My mother did nothing but sit there. I think that was what hurt the most,” Antoni admitted, shattering Bobby’s heart. He had no idea the boy grew up in such an abusive household and wishes he could have been there for the brunette. They could have helped each other. 

Bobby pulled himself up and rested against the headboard of the bed and cupped Antoni’s face into his hands. Indeed, Bobby could see the sight of the scar in the moonlight that shined in his bedroom, brightening the boy’s beautiful face. He ran his thumb along the scar just under the boy’s eye. Any closer it could have blinded him.

“You’re safe now dear, that is all in the past and I know it is hard to move on but us five are a family. We will never abandon you. I certainly never will.” Bobby caught the tear that rolled down the man’s face as he spoke. He pulled Antoni back into him, Antoni placing his head back down in Bobby’s chest. He seemed calmer now and for that Bobby was satisfied with how this late-night conversation had gone. 

“Thanks, Bobbers, I love you.” Bobby’s heart clenched at the tired words that came out of the boy’s mouth. It was nearing 3:30 in the morning and Bobby was loving the view of watching Antoni’s long eyelashes flutter and then open once more, fighting sleep. 

“I love you too sweetie. Get some sleep,” Bobby spoke quietly.

''You won’t leave?” Antoni questioned quietly. Bobby turned the two of them so that he was now the "big spoon" with his chest pressed against the boys back. 

''Never,” Bobby said, simply but firmly. Making Antoni believe it fully as he relaxed fully into Bobby’s arms, feeling protected and safe enough to shut his eyes and doze off to sleep. 

The older man waited for the younger’s breathing to even out before he shut his eyes. Thinking to himself that even though he hadn’t been there for Antoni in the past, he could offer support to him now, more than ever before since the man had finally let his walls come down. 

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know anything about Antoni's life, but I do have my suspicions that he had a rough childhood from the things I have read.


End file.
